I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
