So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How external is "for external use only"?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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