HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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