Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
