No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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