Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
