great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
