I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize