how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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