Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
