Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
