He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
