Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My feet surprised me
Randomize
