I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
