i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
