so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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