in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
