I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
