Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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