Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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