i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
