But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
