Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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