when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
