why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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