Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
