So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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