you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
