I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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