Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize