nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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