well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
