Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Of course I have a pirate flag
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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