Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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