At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Come see our sink grown plant.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
