Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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