haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
