Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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