She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
