Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
