no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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