We're facebook friends in real life
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
