If that was your dad, he is hot
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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