a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
