Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
