Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
