I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize