I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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