You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
