Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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