Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
