I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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