My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
