Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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