Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
