Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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