Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
