remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We need to rekindle our bromance
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
