video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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