i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize