I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
