4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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