i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
