It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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