So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize
