He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
