I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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