i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize