I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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