So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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