You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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