Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize