Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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