Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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