Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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