just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
