I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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