That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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