Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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