Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
